---
author: marco
categories:
- Uncategorised
date: "2005-01-16T05:41:57Z"
title: july
---

*life by water*

 the fog crawls over the mountain  
 like the chilling glove of the sea  
 it captures, it raptures my heart  
 chained in the land of the free

 cold are the streets, the avenues dark  
 then the sand, then the waves and japan  
 somewhere behind them the sun sets  
 land of the rising sun – another koan.

 there is no space, no time by the sea  
 the smell in the air, the sound of the halcyon wave  
 seagulls screaming a sad song of lore  
 immobile they stare at their star

 i jump and i roam and i tread through the sand  
 naked by now of fabric and reason  
 dead is my heart and my soul  
 and yet burning alive

 when i leap so rushed comes the flight  
 should i be freezing and yet the fall  
 shelters me from knowing

 and then i touch water

 a million needles pierce through my skin  
 reaching in, drilling in, searching my heart

 pause

 my mind starts wondering, finding itself again  
 and numbness is running, returning to hades

 water, water, churning waves  
 thundering all around me  
 penetrating, infiltrating  
 gushing through my soul

 death is a silent growth  
 a fortnight past a shiny riddle  
 on a clear skin, unblemished  
 today you can’t move  
 can’t stand still, can’t stand  
 can’t

 life is portentous – a thunderbolt  
 thrown in the face of misery  
 boldly claiming its right  
 to the invention of time

 gasping, my head  
 pierces through the surface  
 air and water alike  
 are filling my lungs

 i am born again

 i will swim for my life  
 in the dark solitude  
 air and sea and land  
 black as my thoughts

 my body shivers alive  
 as i wash ashore  
 once more  
 i averted

 *fate*

 can you turn off that smile?

 you walk around  
 as if you didn’t know pain  
 or rather, as if it didn’t bother you  
 any more

 stop dancing in the streets  
 you are making a fool of yourself  
 out of love

 you’ve known this before  
 haven’t you?

 how can a slave be so joyful  
 in the face of a master  
 whose studly disdain for all pleasure  
 is like stone on his face?

 you believe you can win  
 you know nothing of pain  
 my pleasure exactly

 i am fate

 i won’t use any whip  
 i won’t need to flog you  
 or beat you or harm you  
 i’ll just need some papers from you

 madness you know has a reason

 *death by the hands of love*

 the little child has faith  
 in life in love in everything  
 why would it not?  
 we hover through our lives  
 like the maidens of youth  
 pandoras without boxes

 and that thing you call smile  
 how could it be helpful  
 when the storm arrives?

 startling how the blacken clouds  
 darken up the evening sky  
 in the midst of summer

 i talk you talk and then there’s silence  
 and thence comes the lie

 *seeking the unwanted*

 evil is a pretty child  
 charming eyes of wonder  
 a perfect row of blinding teeth  
 the laugh’s a roaring thunder

 but don’t you ever get too close  
 to nature’s dazzling beauty  
 the smallest gap between those teeth  
 reveals the stench of putrid

 of selfishness and cowardice  
 is evil baby dear  
 the sovereign daring ruler  
 of terror and of fear

 words, you see, can’t describe  
 evil

 *in the lair of darkness*

 once the brooding mimosas  
 and their sensous smell  
 were able to master your dreams  
 like the broomstick of a magical mistress

 all in the world  
 flows and revolves  
 around its center  
 the vortex

 please put a finger in the whirl  
 that formed in your sink  
 it seemed so strong  
 but it dies  
 just like that

 someone touches your vortex  
 the heart of your heart  
 you seemed so strong  
 but you die  
 just like that

 nothing has changed  
 everything is still as it was  
 meaning is a silly notion  
 as it is a smile

 the horror of unmotion  
 wakes you up at night  
 a dagger through your soul  
 restlessness but frozen.

 the vibrant colors of summer  
 are dull and drab in fog  
 dampness is an enemy  
 that glues to your skin  
 like a leech   
 in the river of darkness.

 *and you lash out*

 the enemy is the self  
 the master of all fury  
 doomed to fight and wrestle  
 the dangers far within

 can you blame the soul that is craving  
 the life that it lost just before?  
 can you shame the mind that is braving  
 the chill of a world without lore?

 tiny little mini-steps  
 walked by baby dear  
 turn around and bite you  
 destruction looming near

 compressed  
 like a soda can  
 well-shaken in the summer sun  
 someone comes over and flips the ring

 you explode

 regret is an easy motion  
 hurting those who love you  
 is adding to your pain  
 and yet  
 there is no choice.

 *the glorious sun*

 of the afternoon  
 slowly, calmly, steadily  
 burns off the fog

 rivers, then torrents, then streams then creeks  
 of frothy air  
 reverberating  
 flowing  
 across the mountains  
 die while rushing to your face

 like a dying giant grasping from behind the green hills  
 the white fingers fail to find you  
 leaving you and their cold breath  
 that streams to your face  
 just enough to make the heat  
 bearable once more

 you wake up frozen on the ground  
 and her radiance finds the lock to your heart  
 the grass is greener in the light  
 the scent of flowers  
 is charming its way to your heart

 and once more  
 you survived

 brother, sister of mine  
 when life is death  
 and death life  
 and nothing is real  
 in the fog

 you must run  
 you must fly;  
 somewhere else,   
 close by –  
 in an hour, in a mile, or a thousand feet high  
 it still is july